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Thursday, June 12, 2014

Sharing Again

Hello Family,
I am a rainbow. I am a warrior. I am a prophecy. As are you. As is she. As is he. I bless the sacred nine streams, I bless our souls, I bless our dreams. I bless the four holy directions. I bless myself. I bless the world. 
I am sharing something very personal, which is why, of course, that I am sharing it here. Where my heart is at home and I don't have to fear. Where I always feel you close and always feel you near. I love you all my family, my dears/deers.
​(Image Source: http://rainbowwarriorsofprophecy.blogspot.com/2010/03/heart-of-world-i-am-rainbow-warrior-who.html)

  This was dated 9/24/13.
I'll just write what I wrote and go from there.
P.S. Anything that is in parentheses is me talking now. Not from my journal.
What happened? Why, after I won the fight, did I still not make it? I'm going to be heard, I will have justice, God will make it so! Through the blood and life of Jesus Christ, our hope. By the power of the Holy Spirit, our Lord. By the grace of our God, our Savior. By the power of the Spirit of Truth, Justice will be served for me. And everyone will hear and everyone will see. From every corner of the world. From every shoreline to shoreline. From every sea to sea. God will shine his light. He'll shine it right through me. There will be no more secrets. There will be no deceit. Only the liberty of Justice. Right hand, shine down on me. Let me forgiveness. So I can set the Truth Free! Thank you Alla*, Abba*. Thank you divinty. Thank you Shining Star, for shining down on me. Let my truth be my witness. Let your armor cover me. So that standing strong, standing long will no longer make me weak. Let Your Justice be swift, let me have liberty, let me not be forsaken, let the truth set me free. Restore my good name. Let not lies be my grief. Do not let them deceive. Heal me, restore me. Let my story be relief. For others who are hurting, from not being believed. For all the hearts broken. and those feeling defeat. God, in your Wisdom we delight in Thee!
                                                                                     Thank You God.
(That was the first part of what I wrote, and since I free-flowed while writing it, which means I just wrote without thinking about what I was writing, I call it a 'song'. Here's the rest of what I wrote on the same page of my journal):

Wow, I just read over that song. It sounds like it's for now or the near future, when initially I started with the thought of writing about the rape. (
The rape I am talking about happened a long time ago. Between 2006 and 2008. So, this isn't about anything recent). But, I also remember that before I started 'flowing', (just writing, not thinking) I asked God to help me write my book, my Story. - So, what happened?
I was raped. I don't believe the rape alone is what has me feeling defeat. It's the fact that not only did he never get charged, no one ever contacted me. I couldn't leave my house, literally, (I have the word literally underlined 5 times, looks like an upside down pyramid, the lines.)
for a month, I think. I used to kind of know how long it was, but in trying to move on, I've forgot intentionally to a point. I know nothing right now. I guess I don't wanna go there right now. I'll write about it later. 

(*I looked up the words
 Alla and Abba and here's what I found:
 Alla is a spanish word meaning (over) there(far away from both the speaker and the other person)
 Here's the link on where I found the definition of alla   http://www.spanishdict.com/answers/241532/alli-y-alla 
 Abba, I found, is the name of God! How interesting. Here's the full story of the word Abba, which is really neat because it says that the Spirit of Christ is Himself the one who cries in us: Abba (Romans 8:15 and Galatians 4:6) and that the Greek translation of the word means Father or Daddy. (What a neat story, will have to read the whole thing this weekend if I can make the time). http://www.orthodoxresearchinstitute.org/articles/bible/tarazi_name_of_god.htm)

(Okay, that's all I wanted to share with you today. A little bit of me, of my history or my story. I'm not sure why the Holy Spirit led me here. Maybe someone else is going through something similar. For whatever reason, there it is and I'll finish with another song.)

​(image source: http://firetreestudios.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Music-Girl-First-Love-Fire-Wallpaper.jpg)

~~Taking it day by day. Playing it ear by ear. Walking each step in stride. Trying to humble my pride. Feeling ok inside. Still sometimes I just want to hide. But God's always taking my hand. Leading me on, helping me stand. I'm not worthy of what He demands. Yet I'll strive everyday, to be grand. Though I don't measure up, I withstand. I trust God and His mysterious plan. Perfect measures for imperfect man. God's glory will rein/rain on this land. And I'll help Him however I can. To do more, oh I wish that I could. But to struggle is to be mis-understood. I'll walk blindly in faith and in love. In God's Holy Light I do trust. I just wish that I could measure up. So I'll pray and meditate every day. That God molds me in His perfect way. I pray for courage and strength so I'll say, without hindrance, the things I should say. I wanna act better than I did today. Or this second, or than yesterday. I'll strive for goodness, each breath that I take. I'll pray for peace with each move that I make. I pray for troubles to all fade away. I bless for Glory of God to make way and wash over all of us each day. Less worries and more time to play. I bless for laughter to guide all our days. Let the sunshine wash over our face. And warm all our hearts as it warms all our days. I pray that the love washes and heals our heartaches. And that love touches each one and all our mistakes. So we know that's why we are~ who we are~ each one this day. Let love learn today and not dwell in the past. And Peace will be there, peace, still at last.~~

Thank you for letting me share. Blessing the nine sacred streams and the four holy directions. I bless myself, I bless you, I bless the Lord, I bless the world. I pray for peace within and peace without. (on the inside and on the outside). I pray for forgiveness of everyone and of ourself.
Thunder Raging your Princess of Dawning
violet child, rainbow warrior of prophecy
{ violet, aqua, magenta, gray }

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